December 08, 2005

Exclusivity

I am thankful for a renewed sense of hunger to know God. I count it an early Christmas gift. For so long, I have been content with where I am with my Lord, refusing to move on. I stubbornly held my ground not wanting Jesus to say “Mine!” to any more of me. “I have to have something of my own!” I yelled at Him. In the end, I was losing out on precious moments with my Lord because I wanted to save myself.

I am thankful that in spite of my shifting from faith to doubt, confidence to fear, faithfulness to abandonment, He remains as madly in love with me as the first time. I think that it is this love that pulls me to my feet and makes me start walking anew. The fact that He makes such a strong claim to my life makes me fear Him and yet draw to Him. May the second reaction outweigh the first one.

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