I have nothing to complain about. Nothing substantial anyway. There has been nothing but blessings after blessing in my life. Even with the minor troubles and worries, I find myself unshaken and still standing on the Rock. And that is something I am extremely grateful for. God knows how shaky I can be in my walk with Him.
But there's this nagging dissatisfaction. More prayer perhaps? More reading of His Word? A commitment to serve in our church?
Everything is okay, some things are even excellent in my life. But there's got to be MORE to life than this. I don't like waking up mornings with the Teacher's words echoing through my mind, "Vanity, everything is vanity..."
I want to wake up, smile at the sun streaming through our bedroom blinds and praise God for another day.
Maybe it's a will thing.
July 30, 2007
July 16, 2007
That's divine intervention!
If a friend didn't unwittingly send this message to me this morning, I'd have missed out on God's awesome care for me and my concerns. What a shame! And how ashamed I am when I realize how my focus on work has crowded out my acknowledgement of God's gracious presence in my life! God, I ask for forgiveness.
This whole thing started on Friday. I was totally swamped with work and client emails/calls. I logged overtime hours on a Friday night but that wasn't enough. I was forced to take my work home. Saturday was a tiring day of packing and moving out from my Paranaque residence to my new place in Ortigas. Too tired from the packing then unpacking, I wasn't even able to finish half of my workload. After service yesterday, I got right back to working and finished the translation part of the code plan just before dinner. I resumed at 9pm after dinner and a short break.
By 10PM (with less than 25% of sheets organized into nets), I was feeling hopeless and telling friends that I needed divine intervention if I was to submit the translated and organized code plan before lunch today. At 11PM, I decided to give up. There was no way I'd finish my work before Monday lunch so I might as well get some much-needed rest. I crawled into bed and talked to God about all my worries, about how hopeless and joyless I was. I can't say I slept well because I had peace knowing that God would help. I slept with a fatalistic and resigned outlook to what what I perceived to be inescapable criticism from my boss and DP department.
I was on autopilot this morning, rushing through the morning routine while making mental post-its for all my work today in my consciousness. I got to the office, skipped my morning tea ritual, flipped my PC on and began organizing codes like my life depended on it. In a way, it did. 20 minutes of insanity, my boss called and told me to send it to him. I apologized and said I needed more time to organize the codes. And here's the divine intervention part: My boss said that organization into nets was no longer needed! How's that for God helping me out with work?
But I didn't even pause to really let that sink in. I breathed a single line of not-that-heartfelt thanks, told aforementioned friend and went right on with other pending tasks! My friend's reply was such a wake-up call for me. "That's divine intervention." Truly it was and how ungrateful I was for it. I spent a couple of minutes in our pantry talking to God about that.
But oh how gracious is my King! I go forth this week with a renewed sense of the God who is truly with me, who cares and who corrects. I pray my focus on work does not overwrite my praise and when it does, I pray for grace to see and turn back.
This whole thing started on Friday. I was totally swamped with work and client emails/calls. I logged overtime hours on a Friday night but that wasn't enough. I was forced to take my work home. Saturday was a tiring day of packing and moving out from my Paranaque residence to my new place in Ortigas. Too tired from the packing then unpacking, I wasn't even able to finish half of my workload. After service yesterday, I got right back to working and finished the translation part of the code plan just before dinner. I resumed at 9pm after dinner and a short break.
By 10PM (with less than 25% of sheets organized into nets), I was feeling hopeless and telling friends that I needed divine intervention if I was to submit the translated and organized code plan before lunch today. At 11PM, I decided to give up. There was no way I'd finish my work before Monday lunch so I might as well get some much-needed rest. I crawled into bed and talked to God about all my worries, about how hopeless and joyless I was. I can't say I slept well because I had peace knowing that God would help. I slept with a fatalistic and resigned outlook to what what I perceived to be inescapable criticism from my boss and DP department.
I was on autopilot this morning, rushing through the morning routine while making mental post-its for all my work today in my consciousness. I got to the office, skipped my morning tea ritual, flipped my PC on and began organizing codes like my life depended on it. In a way, it did. 20 minutes of insanity, my boss called and told me to send it to him. I apologized and said I needed more time to organize the codes. And here's the divine intervention part: My boss said that organization into nets was no longer needed! How's that for God helping me out with work?
But I didn't even pause to really let that sink in. I breathed a single line of not-that-heartfelt thanks, told aforementioned friend and went right on with other pending tasks! My friend's reply was such a wake-up call for me. "That's divine intervention." Truly it was and how ungrateful I was for it. I spent a couple of minutes in our pantry talking to God about that.
But oh how gracious is my King! I go forth this week with a renewed sense of the God who is truly with me, who cares and who corrects. I pray my focus on work does not overwrite my praise and when it does, I pray for grace to see and turn back.
July 12, 2007
Post #300: Feeling Better
Thanks for everyone's prayers, text messages, comments and love. Fever hasn't been back since last night and my cough is more "productive" albeit giving me those irritating throat itches. Praise God for a yesterday's rest, meditation and laughter.
I'm back in the office (ready to pretend I'm very busy and important?). But the PC they brought in as a replacement for my former slow PC is making noises loud enough to disrupt the entire floor. So I'm crashing in someone else's cubicle and using her PC. Nyahahaha...
Malapit na akong maging Ortigas girl! I should probably start packing my stuff...
Sorry, no deep thoughts here. There's a typhoon. Take care everyone. Don't get sick. It's plain rotten to be sick.
I'm back in the office (ready to pretend I'm very busy and important?). But the PC they brought in as a replacement for my former slow PC is making noises loud enough to disrupt the entire floor. So I'm crashing in someone else's cubicle and using her PC. Nyahahaha...
Malapit na akong maging Ortigas girl! I should probably start packing my stuff...
Sorry, no deep thoughts here. There's a typhoon. Take care everyone. Don't get sick. It's plain rotten to be sick.
July 10, 2007
The Sick Post
I am sick. Yet again.
I have a feeling my body is waging a war on me and it refuses to tell me why. I wasn’t this sickly before. I’d bounce back from a fever or cold in less than a week despite depriving it of much needed sleep. Water therapy, Tylenol and warm baths were all it took.
I was feeling better (I was, I was, I was!!!) last weekend. In fact I felt so good that I was able to go out with my friends and make wonderful memories, watch Transformers and survive the commute with smile.
But yesterday, my body went crazy. It started with a really bad headache on my way home. Then I started coughing again, the kind of coughs that make your chest hurt, so much noise and so little “output”. After dinner, I began to heat up. I think it was just a slight fever but my Tita wanted to bring me to the hospital because she said I had a high fever. I bet my next salary that if I weren’t 5’5” tall and she wasn’t 4’ tall, she’d have dragged me out of my bed and into an emergency room. (This after just telling a friend that gambling was bad!)
This is hard for me to say especially since I’ve been telling people this morning that I’m okay and that I can survive another day at the office. But this stubborn workaholic is coming out:
I want to go home.
I have a feeling my body is waging a war on me and it refuses to tell me why. I wasn’t this sickly before. I’d bounce back from a fever or cold in less than a week despite depriving it of much needed sleep. Water therapy, Tylenol and warm baths were all it took.
I was feeling better (I was, I was, I was!!!) last weekend. In fact I felt so good that I was able to go out with my friends and make wonderful memories, watch Transformers and survive the commute with smile.
But yesterday, my body went crazy. It started with a really bad headache on my way home. Then I started coughing again, the kind of coughs that make your chest hurt, so much noise and so little “output”. After dinner, I began to heat up. I think it was just a slight fever but my Tita wanted to bring me to the hospital because she said I had a high fever. I bet my next salary that if I weren’t 5’5” tall and she wasn’t 4’ tall, she’d have dragged me out of my bed and into an emergency room. (This after just telling a friend that gambling was bad!)
This is hard for me to say especially since I’ve been telling people this morning that I’m okay and that I can survive another day at the office. But this stubborn workaholic is coming out:
I want to go home.
July 09, 2007
Six Years Down the Road
As wide-eyed, idealistic freshmen, we met on the second floor of the Centerfold Wing of the Kalayaan Residence Hall. Six years later...
Left Bottom to Right Bottom:
Gilda: Graduated with a degree in Business Administration and Accountancy. Works for SGV. Studyng for the CIA (Cert. of Internal Auditor) exam.
Nina: Graduated with a degree in Communications Research. Works for TNS.
Alou: Graduated with a degree in Materials Engineering. Starts her PhD program at the University of Cinncinati this October.
Joy: Graduated with a degree in Communications Research. Former Synovate-er. Currently works for the Philippine Bible Society.
Yours truly: Graduated with a degree in Statistics. Works for PSRC-RI.
Tin: Graduated with a degree in Business Administration and Accountancy. Works for SGV. Studyng for the CIA (Cert. of Internal Auditor) exam.
All of us not so idealistic anymore but cautiously optimistic, still in pursuit of our dreams or what's left of them. Haha...
Left Bottom to Right Bottom:
Gilda: Graduated with a degree in Business Administration and Accountancy. Works for SGV. Studyng for the CIA (Cert. of Internal Auditor) exam.
Nina: Graduated with a degree in Communications Research. Works for TNS.
Alou: Graduated with a degree in Materials Engineering. Starts her PhD program at the University of Cinncinati this October.
Joy: Graduated with a degree in Communications Research. Former Synovate-er. Currently works for the Philippine Bible Society.
Yours truly: Graduated with a degree in Statistics. Works for PSRC-RI.
Tin: Graduated with a degree in Business Administration and Accountancy. Works for SGV. Studyng for the CIA (Cert. of Internal Auditor) exam.
All of us not so idealistic anymore but cautiously optimistic, still in pursuit of our dreams or what's left of them. Haha...
July 06, 2007
10 Favorite Sensory Experiences
- Hugs
- Having my hair brushed or stroked. But it'll feel good with certain people only. I react negatively to others.
- Back massages done by at Ate Nitz, field interviewer extraordinaire who never fails to make me laugh.
- The feel of a teaspoon of honey in my mouth.
- The soothing sight of waves as they come in and out (recede?) and the sounds of the shore: the waves, the gulls, the people around.
- The sound of Apple and Yam laughing.
- The whole experience of singing the benediction every Sunday with the entire DCBC family.
- Joy and her southern belle accent... Or is that soul sistah accent???
- The smell of freshly baked bread, strawberry wine and babies after their bath.
- Dancing ballet... Feeling the floor when I'm on pointe... Being attuned to my body... Listening to the music... Feeling the sweat trickle down my back... And the sound of my teacher's voice reciting the steps.
July 03, 2007
What's This Tag Thing?
Janna tagged me and from what I gather I'm supposed to list 10 weird things about me. Janna, quits na tayo ah? Hehe...
1. I'm a people pleaser and an insensitive person. At the same time.
2. I like treating other people when I'm feeling down because seeing them happy makes me happy too.
3. I want and don't want to immigrate.
4. I danced ballet thinking that I'd injure myself with my foolishness in pointe shoes. But I ended up getting injured while ice skating.
5. I like my ice cream with salt.
6. I wash my hands before and after using the bathroom.
7. Kinikilig ako over the most mundane things.
8. I love watching surgeries but not bloody action scenes.
9. I can't live without white ballet flats in my collection of shoes.
10. I can't for the life of me hold on to a grudge. Even if it means being an embarrassment to womenkind and the rule that we should give the guys a hard time.
I tag Nellie, Joy C., Manders, Mun Onn, Butch, Jojee, Ida, Rina, Omar and LG.
1. I'm a people pleaser and an insensitive person. At the same time.
2. I like treating other people when I'm feeling down because seeing them happy makes me happy too.
3. I want and don't want to immigrate.
4. I danced ballet thinking that I'd injure myself with my foolishness in pointe shoes. But I ended up getting injured while ice skating.
5. I like my ice cream with salt.
6. I wash my hands before and after using the bathroom.
7. Kinikilig ako over the most mundane things.
8. I love watching surgeries but not bloody action scenes.
9. I can't live without white ballet flats in my collection of shoes.
10. I can't for the life of me hold on to a grudge. Even if it means being an embarrassment to womenkind and the rule that we should give the guys a hard time.
I tag Nellie, Joy C., Manders, Mun Onn, Butch, Jojee, Ida, Rina, Omar and LG.
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