Whew!

You know you've had one too many visits to your university health service when

...you have three whole conversations with the nice nurses there about their kids
...you've actually met the son of one of the nurses
...the rest of the nurses nod at you and you smile at them
...you know not to mess around with the mean nurses
...you've forgiven the mean nurses. they were tired.
...the triage nurse is actually nice to you
...your medical records don't fit into the yellow folder so there are a lot of papers attached by a staple
...you know where the bathrooms are (there's a labyrinth inside that normal looking building)
...you know how to give your extensive medical history without having to pause to think
...you begin to understand the doctor's handwriting
...you allot at least two hours of your day for a visit there
...you know that bringing something to study is a good call because of that

Thanks to all who prayed for me. It was just an allergy. I look really horrible but at least I don't miss any classes. Praise God!

Now to find something I can eat that won't make me look horrible. Hehe. I can't eat chicken, eggs, cheese, crustaceans, citrus fruits, mangoes, tomatoes, instant food like noodles, CHOCOLATE (!), nuts, carbonated beverages and any dish with patis or bagoong. This makes for an awesome diet. Haha.

Play "Heart of Life" by John Mayer

"I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears
And listen"

I've been sad for days. So on Saturday I allowed myself a good 3-minute cry (tears do not come easily when I need them the most). And while I was curled up there, I remembered...

"Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good"

...that I finally found a job that fits into my career path as a clinical/medical statistician. It's part-time until I graduate. By April, if nothing new comes up, I'll work full time. I never thought an opportunity like this would come up but it did. God is not against me.

"You know, it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But, then your circle of friends
Will defend the silver lining"

...all the people that cared for me and prayed for me while I was sick in the hospital. Getting sick and dying alone is among my greatest fears. I haven't exactly been a really great person so I thought no one would care. But when I was sick and I felt like I was dying, it was such an incredible blessing to have people turn up and prove me wrong.

"Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good"

...all the people who turned up last Saturday for Openhouse. I'm a terrible hostess and they had to bear with me. I enjoyed the time we spent together and was greatly encouraged by them.

"Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good"

...that God is still patiently waiting for me. He should be pretty annoyed --- downright "wrathy" is more like it --- at me by now. But he's not. It's stupid and I know it. I do something for you, you do something for me. I know that my relationship with him does not work that way, that he owes me nothing, and that I should be repenting of this. But my knees are too proud and God knows my heart. And so it is annoying that I ache for His presence. Annoying but oddly comforting. My heart has yet to be fully stone. I am loved still. I am not that alone. And God is still God.

We don't do this a lot.

And I don't mean us dressing up in smart casual. I mean OPENHOUSE. In fact, it's a once a year thing for us like birthdays or Christmas. So come on and hang out at our place for once. We'll find ways to chill in the heat. The door will be unlocked from 10AM-6PM. Remember the room number: 122. See you!

A moment of pleasure, four days of hell.

C'est La Vie

Valentines still sucks but this year I like to think that the universe conspired to be somewhat kinder. Four women got what they wanted for V-day. They didn't get exactly what they wanted but getting something was pleasant enough.

Ann did not wish for anything being who she was and having who she had on her desk 24/7. Nonetheless she got flowers and a stuffed toy from her mother.

Apple wished for rose-shaped chocolates and a "hotdog" pillow. Her mom sent her both although the stuffed toy can only be remotely called a "cocktail hotdog" pillow.

Gee went out on a date. She did not wish for one but she did wish to go to the movies. The date involved a movie so she enjoyed that.

I wished for a conversation over coffee with someone who did not have the monthlies. I did get one although there was no coffee involved only a rather large investment in cellphone credit. And it was platonic. He was pleasant company for the day and the jokes kept me off John Mayer's "Love Song for No One". That's something.

In behalf of room 122, I thank you Universe.

PS Don't forget the 24th.

Fab Weather!

That said...

A month ago I was content to make it out of UP with a diploma, some statistical skill and a bunch of twisted knots in my tummy. But a lot of things happened. Information was dug up, calculated and presented before my unbelieving eyes. More became a possibility.

I conveniently (or inconveniently) happen to want that More.

So if I don’t return your emails, make dates with you, don’t post, say bye after just an hour of talk, I apologize. Thank you for bearing with me so far. I love you guys.

Life will resume April. Or so I hope.

---

Five Things I Recommend You Check Out

Awake - Josh Groban: The new album is out and it’s fabulous. Gotta love the song “So She Dances”…

Sweet Spy: A Korean series that’s like Alias and Bond themes combined. Gotta love the incredibly cute Dennis Joseph O’Neil…

Double Trouble: My favourite Bread Talk product.

Maybelline’s XXL Lashes Mascara: For “lashless” kikay girls like me, you can trust its claims of longer and fuller lashes. It’s the best I’ve ever had. If you have the moolah, get the new Intense version.

Ilang Open House: February 24. =) Teeheehee