January 23, 2006

Surprised

Good news and bad news but in the end all utterly unexpected. We talked today and now I have more questions than ever. When forgiveness is offered for something you never said sorry for, when a covenant is made and then forgotten or ignored, when "levels" become an issue, when one is terrified of facing the mirror, when one is without friends...What comes next?

I'll write a letter. So go ahead, call me a coward. I know I am one.

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I am haunted by his downturned face and air of despondence. If he were real, I'd stand beside him and hold his hand, and together we will look downcast, alone and fragile.

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