Teetering on the edge

Mom sent a message this evening exclaiming, “Naneng, legal age ka na bukas!” (Naneng is an Ilocano term of endearment for one’s daughter and the rest translates into “You’re of legal age as of tomorrow”) She went on asking, “What are your plans?”

Plans? What plans? Trick question?

Joke Ma.

Well, on the eve of my 21st birthday, I must admit to feeling somewhat under whelmed. Other than a late dinner with my friends here at the dorm, tomorrow shall pass as just another of my ordinary Saturdays: I’ll wake up around noon, try to get some academic work done, cram the washing of my leotard and tights, go off to ballet class (no chance I’m telling them because it seems so awkward) and then home to pizza and cola.

When people give me surprises, I act like Miranda in SATC: I don’t act touched. I am really, but as usual, I just sit there smiling and not really looking all that excited. This is problematic because I end up feeling so guilty because I know people usually put a lot of effort into stuff like that and here I am, the Corpse Celebrant. (BTW, let’s all watch the Corpse Bride and see if it’s as cool as the trailer makes it look). “Oops, maggots…”

On the tricycle ride home from ballet, I thought about the prayer Teacher Mylene said before class. She thanked God for the gift of life and asked that that gift would be something that each of us would give out by giving out joy, peace and love, by being a gift to other people. I don’t know exactly why but it made me think of all the people who have done exactly that in my life. Since I’m not in the mood for celebrating myself, I think now would be a good time to celebrate the people behind my 21 years of existence (dare I call it a life?). In other words, this is another of those posts where I make like Academy awardee and thank everyone.

MY FAMILY (THIS COVERS IMMEDIATE AND EXTENDED)

For all your help, encouragement and prayers, trips and travails, fun and games, roller coasters and restaurants, memories and love.

My Parents

Thank you for loving me in my most unlovable times. I bet you would even say I had no unlovable times. Thanks for all the support and for letting me know that you will fall and stumble and rise with me every itty bitty step of the way.
Thank you for the guidance that you have to push into my stubborn mind once in a while. I don’t take your dose of parental wisdom that easily either but still you dole it out.
Thank you for all the strict rules (curfew at six, no parties, no boyfriend) that have saved me from a lot of regrets and mishaps. Thank you for your trust and for the forgiveness when I break that trust every now and then.
Thank you for your marriage and for how it has shown me that love is more than an emotion, most of the time it is a will and it involves sacrifice but also that it is worth it. Thank you for your shocked expressions the night I told you that I didn’t want to get married. That is one hilarious memory. I can still see how dad sat up from his comfortable sleeping position.

My Mom

For raising me up surrounded by good books that I have come to love (and really need). I wonder, did it ever feel silly to be reading a book to your tummy? Or to an infant who was more interested in tearing the pages up than in what they meant?
For all the good movies we’ve shared (Emma, Good Will Hunting, Joy Luck Club, etc.) and the discussions about their themes and lessons afterwards.
For afternoon and late-night talks on almost every topic under the sun/moon.
For training me into the neat freak I am. Cheers *Holds up a cup of bleach and dirt remover*

My Dad

For showing me what patience and restraint are.
For the humor.
For my brown hair that I am indeed very vain about. The nose, well, I’ll live. Hehe.
For your own part in my OC-ness. Goodness, my parents breed OCs.
For frowning whenever I tried wearing short skirts/dresses.

My Brothers

For the wrestling, tree climbing and roller-skating.
For being protective, in your own way. (One time, when this particularly persistent guy called our home to try talk to me, my brother answered him saying, “I’m sorry she’s out of the country right now.”)
For trusting me with your secrets, sometimes more than what I bargained for.
For the noodles and oats (Omar’s specialty and Mikhael’s specialty respectively.)
For being crazy. Hehe.

---o---

FRIENDS

Ooh, I’ve just done this. Refer to this post please.

Nellieyah, Gee, Applet, Yamsky

For sharpening my countenance i.e. for helping me build my character. Wink wink.
For the jokes and the laughter, whether I’m the victim or not.
For the card games, movies, and food deliveries.
Gee, for killing the roaches and arriving just in the nick of time.
Nellieyah, for allowing me to escape my sulfuric bed and sit/lie/sleep on your bed and the laundry room talks.
Applet, for allowing me to use you in my stretching and ballet experiments.

Yam, for some reason, this sentence about you doesn't want to join the rest up there and insists on being a space after. Don't let it go into your head. Thank you for taking my vocabulary classes with a great amount of enthusiasm and humor. Best student.

GOD

Thank You for every gift I have.