Miraculously, I turned up at church today. If it hadn't been for Nellie's "I can't miss service for two weeks!" speech, I would've been as relentless as last week. They celebrated the Lord's supper today and I found myself in weird situation. I didn't think I should take communion but at the same time I wanted to avoid questions into my spiritual health so I took some of the bread...but didn't eat it. However, there was no way I could make the wine disappear...so I drank it. Evil, evil Kristina.
Well, you know part of the reason I did get a piece of the bread and a cup of wine was because I was like "Lord, really messed up lately. Please forgive me. Give me some measure of peace that I can go ahead and take this." but I just felt so bad.
Yeah and I went to the CR after that and threw away the piece of bread. And stood there crying, half expecting lightning to come down and kill me. Yes, it was raining. And hard. So, yeah, it was a possibility.
I am a mess. I know.
And I just realized... I live for comments these days.
Oh yeah, I have a boyfriend...My stat textbook. He treats me fabulously.
1 comment:
i noticed you were a bit impatient to leave church. but i was blessed that you turned up anyway. i have my own struggles and i almost missed service for two weeks today. technically, i'm not reconciled with someone yet, but i decided to pray with that person if our paths cross. then i was at peace with partaking in the Lord's supper. i realized that it was His grace that brought us there whatever we may feel.
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