Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Uh-huh.

This afternoon, The Porch decided to go MIA. I typed in my blog addres to check in on the place, and lo and behold!, all the window gave me was my nice blue linen background. Maybe it's still loading? Nope, nice little bar at the bottom says DONE. So I press Refresh. Nope, still my background coming on, nothing else. Hmmm...let's try again. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Uh-huh. Interesting. What's with my site?! Let's not panic...Aha, will access it from a friends site (Voice in the Back of My Head: "Duh Kristina, what's the diff?")...Okaaaay...Where has my blog gone?!

Five hours later, it's back. You're grounded Porch. IndefinitelyDon't you ever go sneaking away like like that, again. Do you understand me?

Boy, I'm thinking parenting moments like these are fun. Of course, my mom would disagree and quite strongly at that.

Ohhh, do I miss home.

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God times are still something of a struggle. As a very emotional person, when I don't feel anything, I'm worried. I'm not getting the longing to read His word.

But every night, I do feel the urge to just sit still and talk to Him. I imagine us in a coffee shop. I don't know why. We've had awesome conversations lately. Mostly me talking and crying. But, God's just so good. It was kind of hard to break it to myself that having God in my life makes all a huge difference, that He isn't angry and just thirsting to punish me, most of all that He cares a lot about me despite what I think. Or do. I keep expecting Him to rebuke me on my pride and rebellion. So at first, I was really uncomfortable. But, He's just been kinda listening. Just being there. Just reminding me about His love.

The sin I had clung to now seems easier to turn away from. I actually found myself walking away from another oppurtunity at temporary pleasures. That made me go "Whoa!" Humbled me a lot because that was just really His doing.

I've been sleeping better since Sunday night. Not earlier. But better.