Heel no!

Stalker that I am of Go Fug Yourself, I saw Victoria Beckham wearing the oddest shoes...

Before I rant on, disclaimier moment. Listen, I'm a huge HUGE fan of shoes. God knows how crazy I am about shoes and hence He has given me a good job but not too good a job that I go and buy everything I love at Aldo, CMG or VNC.

I'm all for stilettos. Painful but gorgeous things. There are few things that make me feel as glamorous I do when I'm wearing them. Add those thing on your stems and it's instant weight loss people. Instant! And oh-so-tall-tall me can pull off skirts and dresses that would look drab without heels.

But this...



It looks like one would be literally walking on tiptoe ALL THE TIME. Unless you're a ballet student, and even if you are, I doubt any woman would want to tolerate that much pain. And it's weird noh? I've noticed heels get thinner and thinner but I never thought I'd see a day when suddenly POOF! They're gone!

You won't see me running to the stores to find something like this.

Besides I got pointe shoes. Hahaha...


Take that Victoria.

Yabang ko.

Watch the mouth

Gave it this some thought last night after C said that I absolutely cannot use those words in front of the kids if ever... See, I can still sort of live with slipping every now and then with C. He's got the cleanest mouth ever but tolerates me and is mature enough to know not to imitate me. But kids? Scary accountability right there.


I learned to swear long before I became a Christian. Back then, it was somewhat cool. Now, it's simply appalling. I try naman. But when I suddenly find out that somthing happened with a project that I totally prepared for in order to avoid, first thought is "Oh S***!". When I come home late at night and the bathroom floor is flooded by roommates who don't seem to understand the concept of a shower curtain, I fire away another "Oh S**!". When I'm really , really annoyed at someone... Okay, I'll spare you that.

When you really think about it, it should be practically impossible to be unable to find a better word to describe the emotion you're trying to express. Why use a "S***!" rather than "Dude, this is the most frustrating thing ever today!". Okay, sometimes I disguise this with "Crap" which maybe sounds a little less jarring but still not kid-friendly. Maybe better to "put it nicely" as that pic says than shout bad words to a person's back (I'm not too good with confrontations).

Is it a lack of eloquence or habit?

I say habit. And perhaps that's why it's hard to watch the mouth. Habits are hard to kick. In this case, swallow. Hopefully, it gets easier in time.

For 09242008

Lessons don't come any easier

Wounds don't heal any faster
People still flow in and out of my life

But hope grows stronger
Faith a little more grounded
Joy a little less fleeting

His love never changes
His mercies is still new every day
His grace has and will be sufficient

24
Still His
Always His

Word for the month: Calvinism

Joy: uh-huh. calvinism + the art of losing = heaven
Joy: LOL
Krissy: righteousness LOL
Joy: sometimes hope is exhausting. looking out at the horizon sometimes stings the eyes. it's better to sit and acknowledge the storm or the stillness or whatever and be like, yeah I'm at this place. don't know what to do. oh well.
Krissy: LOL. uhm, i liked everything except the last bit
Krissy: "oh well"
Joy: pwede ring oh sh*t or d*mn it!
Joy: sabay untog the head
Joy: o di ba so much better than being sparkly eyed
Krissy: yes. damdamin mo ang darkness. tas biglang gulangtang kapag may light
Krissy: o di mas masaya un
Joy: yeah put on some shades while you're at it
Joy: for magnifying darkness perception
Krissy: kaysa sa "what took you so damn long light!"
Krissy: nagiging "LIGHT! YEY! what do you know, LIGHT!"
Joy: true! parang "what is this white stuff??"
Krissy: o di ba
Joy: why is it all around me???
Krissy: lovely
Joy: I know! so much better
Joy: so I think I should boost my darkness endurance
Krissy: i think this is all very daniel
Krissy: daniel and three friends
Krissy: you know... whether we live or we die
Krissy: not betting on light
Joy: uh-huh. so true
Krissy: there's possibility of light but not betting on it?
Krissy: ohhh
Krissy: this sounds oh so very dark
Krissy: LOL
Joy: LOL
Joy: but comforting at the same time
Joy: it's like saying, God, the show is yours. Take it away, brother! I'll just know, hang on and stuff and hitch a ride
Joy: and if I'm stuck in the trunk, at least you know I'm there?
Joy: LOL
Krissy: LOL
Krissy: i like it
Krissy: can i blog this?
Krissy: permission to blog
Joy: SURE

Kikay Alert!

Krissy is wannabe make-up artist and imagine her squeals when she saw this (click to follow link)...

Project Beauty: A Makeup Workshop


Krissy wants! Krissy also wonders where to get 2T without slashing out of rent and savings...

Hirap lumigaya.

sulat

ang dami kong "must blog this!" moments. pramis.

pero tignan niyo nga naman wala akong naisususlat dito na matino... ang huling post ko ay munting link love (aka parinig) lang.

ang dami kong natututunan at nararanasan ngayon. naisip ko nga minsan, kaya hindi ako nakakasulat tungkol sa mga ito ay dahil sobra sobra na ang backlog ko. ayaw ko naman isulat un nangyari nun sunday kung di ko naisulat ung nangyari nun last last sunday. at di ko maisulat un dahil... you get the point.

bakit ganun? di na lang kaya ako mag start fresh ano? mahirap ba yun?

kaso mukhang caught in the past talaga ako na bata. at di lang sa simpleng bagay katulad ng blog. nakakainis minsan kung bakit ang bagal ng proseso ng pagdeal ko sa past.

but at least i know it's possible to close the door on those demons. a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Semblance of Control

You know that thing where people become obsessed with something like counting the number of hairs on their head or counting Excel cells on an empty worksheet when chaos hits them? Things that give them some sense that they are still in control and the world is not collapsing around them?

Yeah. I'm there. I want to organize my already organized project files... I want to put them in these:



Available from Filed, they are nifty and cute (PINK!!!) folders that I envision myself walking into the my client's boardroom (AKA The Lion's Den) with. They will be my shield and sword for the fight, este, presentation.

Oh wait.

I think I'm confusing God with folders.

Breathe

Sometimes that's all I can do. And sometimes that's all He asks of me. Breathe and trust him for things I that are out of my hands anyway.

I feel broken again. I feel vulnerable again. All the things I don't want to be or feel, I am.

Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

I am held.

Stalker Alert!

I will put up a counter soon! And it will register only you! Hah! You know why? Because I've been cross-posting from my Multiply account so most friends read my Multiply blog not this one... Aha! I will find out how many times you open this site! *wags finger in air*

Speaking of cross-posting, it is a little irritating to see everything is screwed up here (the picture and text are a mess) when it's all fine on my Multiply blog... I guess I have to tweak the HTML on this thing again... I dread the day I get OC enough to do that. The last time I decided to fix the porch, it took me three days. Yes, yes, I am slow with the HTML.

Tonight is the start of Octoberfest, a 120 day beer fest sponsored by the San Miguel Corporation. They shut down sections of two main roads of the Ortigas CBD so traffic has been heavy and foot traffic even heavier. Tonight, I bet it will be crazy what with Third Eye Blind playing on this stage on San Mig Ave corner Vargas. *Due to legal concerns, further comments have been removed for the protection of the author*

Tonight is also when I get my FSH and LH results back. They're testing my E1, E2, E3 (whoa, I didn't know there were 30+ kinds of estrogen---girls are really just more complex!) and testosterone. And my thyroid secretion too. But I am focused on the FSH and LH for the simple fact that they're familiar to me. FYI, FSH (Follicle stimulating hormone) and LH (luteinizing hormone) tests are done to help investigations into menstrual irregularity and fertility issues. I've heard them before on Gray's Anatomy and Private Practice, often used by fertility specialists on the shows. Hopefully, results will say that with a little hormone treatment, I will be able to have lil Krissys and lil ehem when it's time.

I'm in His hands.

The Registry

I decided to do something a little different this year. No books allowed.




Comforter. This makes me feel like a little girl again and I am kinda freezing every night because my bed is right smack in front of the AC.







A massage... Ahhh... Add foot spa and pedi... Heaven.





Avatar DVDS. Blame this item's appearance here on Kuya Butch, Junette, Carlo and that night with the cabbage salad...





Milan bag from Baby Couture. Who said these bags are for moms only?







Silver necklace with moon pendant... Because I am losing the fight to remain a night owl and am slowly morphing into a morning person... Much to someone's delight...




A chance to cook tomato-basil chicken or garlic shrimp pasta and eat it with friends while watching Avatar.

I heart L'Oreal True Match Minerals

This is not a paid advertisement.

And how I wish it was as the stuff cost me nearly my entire grocery allowance. But it is worth it.

Before I bought the stuff, I asked the attendant to swipe some on my entire face. I figure that if my skin didn't react to powder PLUS BACTERIA then that's a good sign. Observations during my two hour trial period:

1. It did not itch! My skin is pretty sensitive but it didn't itch or go red with the powder.
2. It provides good coverage. I have acne scars and I didn't expect heavy coverage. But the mineral powder did even out my skin tone.
3. It feels light, looks light. It was hard to tell that I had make-up on but at the same time you could see my skin looked fresher and I had a glow. The shade the attendant picked was a perfect match too. When your foundation mimics your skin, that's a good thing.

I was completely sold out after the two hour trial period that I bought myself the Golden Sand shade.

And I've been hearing nothing but very positive feedback since I started using it. There's something different about you... You're glowing... It's like you're wearing make-up but you're not right?

Angela's comment: "That's the s***" Apologies for profanity but when Angela says that, something must be really good!

Thank you to Sarah for braving the mineral powder world to show me it's miracles! Sarah, this stuff rocks!

Recommended Friday Reading: Stuff Christians Like

Well, the days have been going by in a blur here in the office --- get in, do work, get out --- so me thinks I'm running an automated-by-miracle-efficient process here. Yip-yey.

Was going through the archives of my favorite blogs and would like to direct you to some of my faves on Stuff Christians Like:

#333 Mayer Christianity

Okay, so it may be the first time I declare it, but I do. I love John Mayer. I have laughed to his songs and jokes in his concert CDs. I've had cry-fests while listening to his lyrics. I have done QTs to his songs (not to worry, Your Body is a Wonderland was never in that playlist). So for SCL to take him up? AWESOME AND FUNNY STUFF! See if you get the quiz all perfect.

#361 Taking God Seriously

I can seriously relate to this post. It has taken me a while to get around to, as Jon writes, "Seeing Him as someone that cares about the little things that no one else notices or as someone that collects my tears in a jar as Psalms..." So read it. And I do look forward to the day I can waterslide into His courts. Whee!

#376 Falling in Love on a Missions Trip

This I put in for DCFers although I know Kuya Butch has already forwarded it earlier in the day to DCFers. Makes for some good laughs especially if you have been to a missions trip (I haven't) and have fallen in love or seen one of your mission-mates (wow, buzz word) fall in love.

Happy, hearty weekend to you all.

In much fear and trembling

So I’ve been asked to talk at a fellowship. About sin. I spent a good part of the weekend just drowning in all of these verses in the Bible that talk about sin until thankfully Tatay Butch lent me his NBD and I had some direction. I spent the good part of yesterday’s holiday in doing first my own personal study on sin and I covered little over four pages of my bond paper sized notebook with notes.

It was a tremendous experience for me, something like finding the exact word to describe a crazy emotion or experience. The Bible being the story of redemption that it is, deals extensively with sin. I even learned there’s an entire “branch” of theology dealing with sin, Hamartiology. It is a very sobering, very heavy topic to grapple with. But God helped me a lot. I don't think you can go through a study like this and not look at yourself and how broken and unable I am to do anything good in God's eyes or how I am unworthy His love. I was sitting there in the Coffee Bean in Ortigas park. I watched the sky go from blue to rose tints to black after my study. And I began singing Amazing Grace. For it is amazing how God has chosen to rescue us out of our darkness; how Christ chose to step into the dark and hideous alley that is our world only to die to fulfill the demand of a holy God that we could never meet.

I have a bulky outline for tomorrow’s fellowship. I also know that public speaking is not a strength of mine. But I have prayed hard, studied hard and I will be myself tomorrow. That and a lot of Um's and Uh's. Bahala na si God. He seems fully capable of taken the bad stuff and turning it into something good.

Let the Dark Knight Swallow the Titanic

Okay, corny.

Anyway, I read that Dark Knight revenue has earned more than $300M to date. That's still half of the Titanic record of just over $600M but I am holding out hope that DK will shatter that record. DiCaprio or Bale? Iceberg or Joker? It's not that hard to pick the better one. And while Titanic was a repeat movie for shrieking females, DK is repeat audience is covering larger, more diverse ground from high school kids to kids at heart who pay taxes. I just hope kiddie kids stay away from this movie.

I need to watch that movie again. Joker is simply the most entertaining evil to watch. If you haven't watched it yet (I only watched it last weekend), make time to do so. As Kuya Butch said, it is worth every penny.

Or someone else's pennies if you find someone who's willing to pay for you. =P

Naisip ko lang kahapon...

Malayo ang weekend. Monday is the pits. The weekend you just got off of seems like a distant memory. The coming weekend is too abstract an idea to grasp at this point.

Malayo ang sweldo. Oh my goodness, is it only the 21st?! The 21st?! Creh-zenez!

Malayo ang pamilya. Pangasinan. Enough said.

Malayo si C. Thank You God for unlimited text option from Globe.

Mahal pa man din ang ang transpo these days.

Wanted: Picornavirus or Coronavirus

So I can make use of my sick leaves. AND maybe my upcoming NEW, UPGRADED Maxicare card. HR informed me that my health card will be upgraded because of my promotion. Just a thought. A wistful wish for a guiltless day away from work.

We've restructured the team so work we're in the transition stage. I had the pleasure of informing one client that I was no longer in charge of one of the projects. And now, I have time to do some chatting and blogging on the side. LOL.

Guys, would appreciate your prayers for Project Counselor. If you know, you know... With knowledge comes great privilege. Wink.

Warmed

Before anything else, HAPPY BIRTHDAY OMAR! Wish you plenty of bungisngis smiles, impulsive calls to yours truly and everyone in the family, and teary eyed nights from getting love letters from across the Pacific. And congratulations on graduating next year! I believe you will.

###

Yey, I’m back in what I can only call my “resurrected self”. That’s what 14 hours in bed on a Saturday can do for me. I finally feel rested, a state that’s been eluding me for the past 3 weeks. Who can ever feel rested when your dreams are of the bottles of the client’s products screaming at you? Anyway, okay Week, BRING IT ON.

One of my closest friends is resigning. Sniff. I’m still in semi-denial. Whatever that is. I wish you didn’t have to go but you do. So I wish you happiness.

#####

Just to cover all the bases… We’re an “us”. I do believe 15 days have passed since that night. And I only realized that because someone asked us last night. Hahaha… I am apparently a “guy” when it comes to remembering dates. Anyway, it has felt like it’s been on for quite some time so I’m not too conscientious about keeping track of that particular date. But I will be mushy on this thing: that I now have hands to warm my chilled ones.

####

It’s a terribly comforting and extremely loving gesture to me.

To the very bones

It seems like I just go home just to take a bath and sleep. Somewhere in between there, I feel an incredible sadness. There was even a night where I didn't even have the energy to open a water bottle.

What is burn-out?

Not So Bad Monday, Give me Five!

Usually, I wake up on Mondays and can't help groaning and trying to grab some more (read: 10 seconds more) sleep. But to day I woke up and my tummy graoned instead... Uh-oh! At sinulat talaga...

Work load wasn't so bad either. Anyone new at MR, pray and pray hard for a difficult and complicated project to be your first project. Own it, cry over it, lose sleep and maybe friends (although I hope not) over it. Work really hard at it and embrace the experience. After walking through that kind of hell, the rest of your days in MR are in the RIGHT perspective. You NEED that perspective. Trust me on this.

My sleep cycle is discombobulated and I have GOT to fix it. Trying to stay awake at 3PM is... Terrible.

I watched SATC last Saturday. Warning #1: Watching the movie will make you want to buy shoes. Warning #2: Watching the movie will make all the shoes in the mall look like UGLY, DREADFUL CREATIONS. Blue Manolo Blahniks in the closet Carrie never got to use, be mine!

Had some good shrimp last night. Totally worth the P49.50 Claritin I had to take to stop looking like a total freak. Thanks C.

Wow, this is some random post. Hahaha...

Two Steps Up the Ladder

"We're promoting you to..."

Got accelerated so I skipped a year of work as a Research Executive 1. Effective July 1, I am a Research Executive 2 and promotable to Senior Research Executive next year.

I can tell you that walking out of the conference room after getting the news without doing a petite allegro combination (pas de chat to pas be bourree, sissones in arabesque...) was a real challenge.

Thank You, thank You God!!!

Dear all at home in Pangasinan, you gotta let me take you guys out to dinner now!

I am excited. I am grateful. I am utterly terrified! But as I'm learning ever so slowly, Fear doesn't have to be my enemy.