In much fear and trembling

So I’ve been asked to talk at a fellowship. About sin. I spent a good part of the weekend just drowning in all of these verses in the Bible that talk about sin until thankfully Tatay Butch lent me his NBD and I had some direction. I spent the good part of yesterday’s holiday in doing first my own personal study on sin and I covered little over four pages of my bond paper sized notebook with notes.

It was a tremendous experience for me, something like finding the exact word to describe a crazy emotion or experience. The Bible being the story of redemption that it is, deals extensively with sin. I even learned there’s an entire “branch” of theology dealing with sin, Hamartiology. It is a very sobering, very heavy topic to grapple with. But God helped me a lot. I don't think you can go through a study like this and not look at yourself and how broken and unable I am to do anything good in God's eyes or how I am unworthy His love. I was sitting there in the Coffee Bean in Ortigas park. I watched the sky go from blue to rose tints to black after my study. And I began singing Amazing Grace. For it is amazing how God has chosen to rescue us out of our darkness; how Christ chose to step into the dark and hideous alley that is our world only to die to fulfill the demand of a holy God that we could never meet.

I have a bulky outline for tomorrow’s fellowship. I also know that public speaking is not a strength of mine. But I have prayed hard, studied hard and I will be myself tomorrow. That and a lot of Um's and Uh's. Bahala na si God. He seems fully capable of taken the bad stuff and turning it into something good.