Okay, so only LG and Jordan will know what I'm talking about in the title. I love those guys.
I was planning to put up a photo essay of things that happened last yesterday but blogger refuses to upload my images (it says it has but they don't appear) and Photobucket is as cooperative as a kid having a tantrum. Apparently, the computer gods don't agree with my idea.
I went to church. Congratulate me. It wasn't easy but then life wasn't supposed to be easy. Jojee and LG did a lot of prodding but that's not what made me go back inside...
When someone you don't love tells you how to live your life, it's annoying. But when you love that person, you'll be more than happy to do or feel as they ask because you want them to be happy. Your happiness is their happiness. This is nothing new. I'm annoyed(at the very least) at God because I don't love Him right now. I don't love Him because I don't know Him. And I don't know Him because all I'm choosing to know right now is myself and my problems. So if I stayed outside that would amount to continuing to dig a hole when you're already in one. So I prayed that God would help me stop digging. And I headed back in to hear a message on mutual confession of sins.
That that's what happened is amazing.
The one experience of romantic love I've had so far has made me realize how much I can accomplish when I fall in love. It made me do things I never thought I'd do. In fact , it made me a bit crazy. And maybe that's what ought to happen to me with God. Because I know that when I fall in love with God, I won't care about me. I'll care about Him. I won't be so focused on me and me and me. I'll be living off whatever it is that makes God laugh His mighty socks off.
And if my one experience is right, there is nothing that can beat the sight and sound of your beloved laughing.
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7 comments:
forgive the mistake "last yesterday"...
so that's why you disappeared for a few minutes. Btw, I could really relate to this post. There are times when the motive in my going to Christian gatherings is that people expect me there, but I always find out that I made a good decision when I'm in these places. My wants are nothing compared to what God wants, and He reminds me about those things in many ways.
Btw, I also enjoyed dinner. IMO, there are now lots and lots of young people around (does this sentence make me seem old). Our batch is a dying breed. :D
yes, mutual confession...
indeed, i should be transparent. i must say that the idea of *not loving* God has crossed my mind, though just once in a blue moon. however, when i take an *attempt* to not love God, i cannot explain it, but some sort of vacuum would happen. that is why even if i *try to rebel* for the things i want that God thinks otherwise, the rebellion would just end up in a feeble attempt (strict definition of this word applies). right now, i cannot recall when was the last attempt.
i really do not know, but i cannot move away from Him. it seems that whenever i try to run away, there is this force that pulls me easily back. though the *pulling me back moment* may seem painful for my part (hey, what do you expect: man's will is sometimes, if not always, in contrast with God's), the sense of security easily overwhelms that pain when i am completely back at His arms.
i just pray that the meaning of really being *nothing when apart* from Him would always be your feeling :)
Thanks guys! Thanks for commenting...LOL. No really, thanks for your thoughts and for being "brutally candid" with me.
Jordan, I completely agree...whatever happened to the fabulous crowd?! LOL
Next sunday ulit!
sure. Morning or Afternoon?
Oops. Jordan, I'm spending the weekend at home so I'll pass on lunch/dinner with you guys... Aww.
Its alright. Next time is ok. :D
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