CAUTION: Contents may cause gastrointestinal disturbance

One of the "shames" I feel as a Christian single who assiduously desires to find a partner for life, to be romanced and to grow old fulfilling my marriage vows is the feeling that I am somehow diminishing Jesus in my life. I get it a lot, the statement that "Jesus is enough. He's all I need." Well, great for those who can honestly say it. I can't. I feel ashamed when I realize that or when I can't seem to flush it out of my system. I try to convince myself that Jesus is enough or can be enough for me (and, oh how I try!). That He is all I need. But somewhere in my heart, a distant notes rings out of tune.

Adam, before the whole Fall issue of sin [ADD moment: That sounds like a good issue of a certain magazine], was walking in perfect intimacy with the Lord. Yet God said it was not good for Him to be alone. And so God created woman.

In 1 Corinthians 7:34, Paul says that "an unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit." It can give the first impression that singleness is to be preferred because it is a more virtuous life. But on reading a Bible commentary (very useful for breaking down wrong first impressions on the Word), I find that Paul is talking about the gift of celibacy, a gift I think few are blessed with.

Can I live my whole life without a companion in marriage, without a family and without sex (yes, that's a question I have to ask myself!) and not feel bad about it all? I can't. For those of us not gifted with the celibacy, marriage is our calling and the verse, "It is not good fo man to be alone" --- Genesis 2:18, applies to us.

The shame in me settles down when I begin to get around the idea that marrying doesn't depreciate the wholeness of a person in Christ or one's need for our Lord. For the first point, look at Adam. We cannot look to our future spouses to fill in our crevices of need and great canyons of emptiness. We do need to be whole in Christ. We cannot look to our future spouses and say "You complete me," despite how romantic it may seem. For the second point, the two people who make a commitment in marriage have to rely on Christ to fulfill the vows they have made. Those vows are not easy to make and they are very, very, very serious ones indeed. The people who make them or who will make them are no less dependent on our Lord than a joyfully single Christian is. For a good solid example to those of us who get to see them, look at Kuya Butch and Ate Shii.

So, if anyone out there feels the same kind of shame I do, be glad and shameless. Being single does provide us the unique season of knowing the Lover of our souls and let's enjoy that. It is, afterall, an incredible season. But let us not advertise ourselves as perfectly happy with it. Instead, let us still esteem marriage highly.


Hehe, just think of it. A guy comes along and he likes you but is also super shy and you're here broadcasting that you are happy being single and alone. I don't think it helps the guy to initiate something. Why make you unhappy if you're so happy with "just me and the Lord."

And, come now, not all men are jerks --- and chauvinists. =)