Last Wednesday, we had a pre-Valentine treat care of the thoughtful guys at Narra and Kuya Dave. But instead of the usual joint fellowship fare of someone (usually Kuya Dave in this case) speaking a message, Kuya Dave made us do something rather exciting and, well, the only word I can think of is illuminating. He gave the each of us ladies a list of questions and assigned us to a pair of guys.
Our instructions? “I want the ladies to pick a question and ask the guys it. The ladies will answer first and then the guys will give their honest answers. Ladies, be bold! Ask them the questions that will embarrass them the most!” Those were our instructions, clearly enunciated by Kuya Dave with a lot of gesturing, who admitted that this was something of an experiment. He said we’d probably end up arguing and that the whole thing would be a disaster. But it wasn’t. Personally, it turned out to be one of the most revealing and interesting fellowship I’ve ever been to.
I learnt some new things about guys and their opinions on love, courtship and marriage. Things like their struggles with purity, their rules when taking a lady out on a date, how they react when they like the same girl and how they know if they love someone. In response to that last question, one guy said his criteria included the following questions: Do we like the same things? Do we have the same calling in life? Is she single? What’s God take on this? I had to laugh at the third criteria given.
They were honest when asked about sexual struggles and now I understand the need for modesty from a different perspective. They were intrigued about women’s attraction to romantic novels and they asked why. Bryan and Gideon talked about how they would appreciate some sort of signal from us if we liked them. They talked about what sort of woman they would like to marry. When they gave me answers to the question about how to break off a relationship, I wanted to haul my ex over to the group and have them talk to him. The guys, I’m sure, would give him plenty of good advice. (Not that it would affect me but, hey, his next girlfriend deserves better treatment.)
The conversations weren’t only honest, they were funny. On group of guys asked me what women liked them to do on a date. I replied that they should be gentlemen and that I couldn’t speak on behalf of the entire population of my sex, creatures that were each unique and mysterious. But they pleaded, all four of them, asking me to pretend like I was teaching a bunch of Kindergarten boys how to be gentlemen. Oh, good grief! Where to start? I guess, being the neat freak that I am, I told them to come in clean clothes, freshly bathed and smelling good. They laughed. Did I offend anyone, I wondered aloud. They said no but it was just funny. I laughed with them. Hey, we spend a lot of time planning what to wear and then actually wearing it and getting prepared and all that jazz—we deserve to have you spend considerable time on your appearance too, I said between chuckles.
The guys made me feel appreciated and interesting as a woman. During the prayer time we had after the discussions, Dan prayed “Lord, thank You for the good and beautiful heart You’ve given Kristina. I pray that You would lead her to a man who would treasure this heart as You treasure it. In the mean time, I pray that You would help her wait for that time and that man.” It was one of the sweetest prayers I’ve heard said on my behalf. And this from a guy!
Kuya Dave and the Narra guys, thank you so much. Here’s to the post-Valentines soiree this Wednesday.
PS Does anyone have a cocktail dress I could borrow? We ladies have been asked to dress up for the next treat. :)
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