Posting used to be so easy for me. There were once days I'd publish three posts. Nowadays, I actually struggle. Sitting at a table, fingers poised above the keyboard, and eyes searching the ceiling for some hint of inspiration is no way to live. Thank God my mother discouraged me from a career in journalism... I think. No insult meant to those who are in that field. You guys are gifted beings.
I'd rather be presented with a normal probability plot and I'll regurgitate an entire bunch of words in milliseconds. Toxic is the word for me. I love my major and all, but too much of a good thing is bad. Throw in weeks of sleeplessness, anxiety, a lot of green tea and siomai. Perfect mix for writer's block.
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Big load off has been taken off my chest so at least the whole breathing thing is easier. =P Last Saturday's thesis defense was my most successful one ever. My professor was impressed and had no questions about our paper whatsoever. To think that we had just two days to write that up and analyze the data. That is what I call divine intervention. I praise God for the results. I did some David dancing (didn't get anywhere near naked though!) in front of my professor in stilettos out of the sheer joy and amazement at my Lord. I scored wounds on my feet that day but who cares? Ballet prepared me well. *Winks*
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There are major decisions I have to make. Do I start working full time? Or do I concentrate on reviewing for the GRE? Do I really want to work for this particular company? Where am I going to live? Where am I going to get my finances? How can I arrange things so that I can still be around friends and still attend church? The answers don't come easy especially when it's not just my life that's going to be affected. It's rather terrifying so I'm glad of the constant assurance of God's leading and wisdom. He has led me through shadow and valley with unfailing mercy. Surely He will lead me with the same gentle firmness and love through the coming months.
Then there are the minor, everyday or hourly decisions I face. Some days ago, I flopped down on my bed and said " God, ten thousand angels around my heart right now wouldn't be such a bad idea. Can You do that for me please? You know how weak I am in handling this kind of relationship." God has been doing more than that. In every challenge, His grace abounds then abounds even more come the next one.
To all who look to God in tha face of the impossible, we shall never be abandoned.
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It's getting late. I have to start working on my final paper for the semester and hopefully my last requirement as an undergrad student.
1 comment:
atsi! hehehe.. comment! not really a significant comment but at least i read your blog. It's still my third day of blogging but im also out of words, topics..whatever.. i never realize that blogging, somehow, also needs "inspiration".. hehehe..
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