March 02, 2007

Post #279

This is me, desperate for an outlet that won't break my heart in a month or so. Hehe. Ang babaw na talaga ng blog na ito.

I Need Love - Sixpence None the Richer

i left my conscience like a crying child
locked the door behind me put the pain on file
broken like a window i see my blindness now

i need love
not some sentimental prison
i need god
not the political church
i need fire
to melt this frozen sea inside me
i need love

driving into town tired and depressed
like a flare the streetlight bursts an s.o.s.
peace comes to my rescue and i don't know what it means
i need love


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I like this place where I am just me before a God who has pursued me until I finally turned around. I must admit that the turning around was no pretty scene. If anything, it was a scene emotionally charged with much anger, disappointment and frustration instead of a humble heart. But maybe that is a healthy interaction with God as well. Maybe it is better that I try to read the Bible and end up throwing it halfway across the room than stowing it in one of the boxes below my bed, out of sight and out of mind.

I count it a daily miracle that I am walking with God even at such a painfully slow pace. The time I spent in the darkness was not wasted time. It helped me to appreciate His grace and His presence. There is nothing more terrifying than getting a close look at the little monster you are and not having someone there to love you.

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