Most of the time, I lead a rather boring existence. But lately, I've had some rather interesting experiences...
1. Sleeping on the floor sans mattress/banig/blanket
2. Eating PhP2.50/pc siomai for dinner and breakfast
3. Not living, sleeping, studying, or eating in my dorm.
4. Enjoying several bike rides in Krus na Ligas
5. Not being able to shower at night
6. Bonding with thesis groupmates
7. Wanting to hit thesis groupmate with my defective mouse
8. Getting bad exam results from the ones I expected would go well and getting good (really good!) exam results on ones I expected to fail
9. Praying for people when I can't fall asleep. I hate that it's my sleeping pill lately but what's more unfortunate is that it actually works
10. Finding God in unexpected places
Two more papers and I'm done. I hope. =P
Thank you to all who love me in their prayers.
Better posts coming up.
March 29, 2007
March 19, 2007
Oh yeah, my blog. Teehee
1. Updates. I need a lot of those these days when thesis papers are all we practically eat, drink and breathe. My laptop is crawling with viruses as the result of all the file sharing with groupmates. Unfortunately, you can't be OC with your laptop when you're pressed with time and no one's head is cool.
2. My roommates and I found a lovely, newly-renovated house in Krus na Ligas. For a two-storey, fully furnished, chandelier-lit, spacious and clean place, it's incredibly cheap at only four thousand a month (water and electricity included). Unbelievable? My mother certainly doubts the offer. But I've checked and rechecked with the owner and it's true. It's a huge blessing for the four of us. My mom is acting a bit anxious over the whole thing. She wants to go shopping for pots, pans and appliances. She even offered to buy me a TV! I quickly refused that offer. I've lived for six years without a TV and a couple more years (or months?) won't make much of a difference. Mom has also set up cooking classes for when I am home for the Holy Week. Looks like my Lenten reflections will be done whilst cooking (read as burning or spoiling) food. Hehe... Mahal talaga ako ni Mama.
3. We just finished our 143 analysis this evening and it's a big load off our chests. Praise God for the sanity and grace. Just a few more finishing touches to our 191 paper and we're done with that too. It's both a relief and a problem. Part the requirement is a peer evaluation to be submitted by each member of the group. There are five of us in the group but only four of us have been really engaged in completing the paper and defending it. There's a part of me that hesitates to give one of my groupmates a failing grade in the peer evaluation for this paper. It doesn't seem like the kind thing to do or, dare I say, the Christian thing to do. I struggled with this last night before God and I still do not have an answer. Am I not commanded to forgive, have mercy and be gracious for I have received all those things in Christ? At the same time, it does not seem right to bestow a grade not earned. It's so easy to count how much I have done and sacrificed in the process of writing that paper and be angry at my groupmate. The deadline for peer evaluation is on Thursday. I guess I will chew on it some more. Thoughts on the matter anyone?
4. Sometimes understanding both sides of an issue is what makes life difficult. You aren't allowed the luxury of being selfish and close-minded. You cannot indulge in emotions of anger, smugness or annoyance. Instead, you struggle as your heart and mind try to find a middle ground to rest safely on. And this struggle takes quite some time. I'm in for the long haul. Sigh.
5. I'm supposed to be writing about the formal dinner last Friday. But I can't think of anything to say... We've been gabbing about it for the past three days here in the room and I'm out of words. We've analyzed and overanalyzed, cropped and retouched pictures, collected bets we've won and paid bets we lost... There is nothing new to say. The pictures will have to suffice. Click here for full album.
6. It weird to know that my mom might read this... Miss ko na kayo. =)
7. Hirit ni Pastor Bel in his sermon last Sunday:
2. My roommates and I found a lovely, newly-renovated house in Krus na Ligas. For a two-storey, fully furnished, chandelier-lit, spacious and clean place, it's incredibly cheap at only four thousand a month (water and electricity included). Unbelievable? My mother certainly doubts the offer. But I've checked and rechecked with the owner and it's true. It's a huge blessing for the four of us. My mom is acting a bit anxious over the whole thing. She wants to go shopping for pots, pans and appliances. She even offered to buy me a TV! I quickly refused that offer. I've lived for six years without a TV and a couple more years (or months?) won't make much of a difference. Mom has also set up cooking classes for when I am home for the Holy Week. Looks like my Lenten reflections will be done whilst cooking (read as burning or spoiling) food. Hehe... Mahal talaga ako ni Mama.
3. We just finished our 143 analysis this evening and it's a big load off our chests. Praise God for the sanity and grace. Just a few more finishing touches to our 191 paper and we're done with that too. It's both a relief and a problem. Part the requirement is a peer evaluation to be submitted by each member of the group. There are five of us in the group but only four of us have been really engaged in completing the paper and defending it. There's a part of me that hesitates to give one of my groupmates a failing grade in the peer evaluation for this paper. It doesn't seem like the kind thing to do or, dare I say, the Christian thing to do. I struggled with this last night before God and I still do not have an answer. Am I not commanded to forgive, have mercy and be gracious for I have received all those things in Christ? At the same time, it does not seem right to bestow a grade not earned. It's so easy to count how much I have done and sacrificed in the process of writing that paper and be angry at my groupmate. The deadline for peer evaluation is on Thursday. I guess I will chew on it some more. Thoughts on the matter anyone?
4. Sometimes understanding both sides of an issue is what makes life difficult. You aren't allowed the luxury of being selfish and close-minded. You cannot indulge in emotions of anger, smugness or annoyance. Instead, you struggle as your heart and mind try to find a middle ground to rest safely on. And this struggle takes quite some time. I'm in for the long haul. Sigh.
5. I'm supposed to be writing about the formal dinner last Friday. But I can't think of anything to say... We've been gabbing about it for the past three days here in the room and I'm out of words. We've analyzed and overanalyzed, cropped and retouched pictures, collected bets we've won and paid bets we lost... There is nothing new to say. The pictures will have to suffice. Click here for full album.
6. It weird to know that my mom might read this... Miss ko na kayo. =)
7. Hirit ni Pastor Bel in his sermon last Sunday:
When a diplomat says "Yes", he means "Maybe..."
When a diplomat says "Maybe...", he means "No."
When a diplomat says "No", he is not a diplomat.
When a guy asks a lady is he can hold her hand and she says
"No", she means "Maybe..."
If she says "Maybe...", she means "Yes."
If she says "Yes", then she is no lady.
March 08, 2007
The Monster Emerges Again
Me: “We’ll start on our 191 paper this afternoon. 1:30 at Ilang. Please review our lessons so that everything will go smoothly and we’re not stumped on how to make sense out of our analysis. Okay everyone?”I think I’m moving from melancholic-phlegmatic to melancholic-choleric, at least in my academics. I think it’s the worst possible version of me. I get cranky when you appear for meetings just ten minutes late, I’ll hit you with glacial stares if you fail to remember that the deadline for your assigned task was today, and at the height of my irritation, I can even march to our professor and tell him you contributed nothing to the thesis and you know that’s a story that can never end well. Take my word for it. I’ve done that last thing already. If there is any ounce of compassion in me it will disappear in an uncooperative group.
Groupmate 1: “I don’t understand anything from Cox regression onwards.”
Me: “That’s why I suggested a review. There’s no way this paper will get done if we don’t understand anything.”
Groupmate 2: “But it’s just a waste of time for us to review. You’re good at this. You understand the subject because you love it. Kaw na gumawa lahat!” *Giggles*
Me: Riggghhht. *Emits Glacial Stare*
I already hold a reputation in the batch for being OC and “excellence-oriented” which aren’t bad things really. But when the people around you are satisfied with mediocre results and they hate you when you start picking apart every stage in the analysis to improve it, life can be less miserable.
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I really need to rein in some of my thoughts. I tend to open up my blogger account and write without a thought to censoring my words. I gave Mom the link to my blog two days ago and the gravity of that action hit me only last night. If she to go through my archives... Oh my. My mom and I are pretty close but not THAT close. Other than my Mom, I know my cousins are reading this and I haven't really been thinking about that either. Gee Kristina, have a little wisdom. *Wry laughter* Don't even get me started thinking about my brothers and sisters in Christ.
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I need a house/apartment. If anyone knows a place, please do tell me about it. If anyone else needs a place to stay and wants a roommate, I'm here hoping for one too. Warning: I'm a little bit on the freaky side of neatness.
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Formal dinner coming up in a week. Anyone wanna be my escort? Haha...
March 07, 2007
One Last Chance
Graduation is a just about a month away. Papers are due, exams are filling up our days. Our batch has yet to decide on our theme, order our precious sablays and pay the grad fee. I feel the pressure to make the most of my days as a senior knowing that they are numbered.
There's these three things I dream of doing. I literally dream of them. A lot of risk is involved however and that's why they've remained dreams for the good part of the school year. The semester is about to end and I face the question of whether or not the risks are worth it. Just because this is my last chance, am I allowed to be reckless?
There's these three things I dream of doing. I literally dream of them. A lot of risk is involved however and that's why they've remained dreams for the good part of the school year. The semester is about to end and I face the question of whether or not the risks are worth it. Just because this is my last chance, am I allowed to be reckless?
March 05, 2007
I don't know about you but it's kinda pretty.
They looked like an art project on my skin. Bright splotches of red on a white canvas. Okay, almost white canvas. Of course, I can only say this of my skin rashes/allergy now that I'm all clear and itch-free. My eternal gratitude goes to antihistamines and steroids and to God giving whoever invented the stuff the wisdom to do so. Thank you to all who kept me in their prayers.
God, I miss chocolates. And chicken. And eggs.
March 02, 2007
Post #279
This is me, desperate for an outlet that won't break my heart in a month or so. Hehe. Ang babaw na talaga ng blog na ito.
I Need Love - Sixpence None the Richer
i left my conscience like a crying child
locked the door behind me put the pain on file
broken like a window i see my blindness now
i need love
not some sentimental prison
i need god
not the political church
i need fire
to melt this frozen sea inside me
i need love
driving into town tired and depressed
like a flare the streetlight bursts an s.o.s.
peace comes to my rescue and i don't know what it means
i need love
I Need Love - Sixpence None the Richer
i left my conscience like a crying child
locked the door behind me put the pain on file
broken like a window i see my blindness now
i need love
not some sentimental prison
i need god
not the political church
i need fire
to melt this frozen sea inside me
i need love
driving into town tired and depressed
like a flare the streetlight bursts an s.o.s.
peace comes to my rescue and i don't know what it means
i need love
---------------------------------------------
I like this place where I am just me before a God who has pursued me until I finally turned around. I must admit that the turning around was no pretty scene. If anything, it was a scene emotionally charged with much anger, disappointment and frustration instead of a humble heart. But maybe that is a healthy interaction with God as well. Maybe it is better that I try to read the Bible and end up throwing it halfway across the room than stowing it in one of the boxes below my bed, out of sight and out of mind.
I count it a daily miracle that I am walking with God even at such a painfully slow pace. The time I spent in the darkness was not wasted time. It helped me to appreciate His grace and His presence. There is nothing more terrifying than getting a close look at the little monster you are and not having someone there to love you.
I like this place where I am just me before a God who has pursued me until I finally turned around. I must admit that the turning around was no pretty scene. If anything, it was a scene emotionally charged with much anger, disappointment and frustration instead of a humble heart. But maybe that is a healthy interaction with God as well. Maybe it is better that I try to read the Bible and end up throwing it halfway across the room than stowing it in one of the boxes below my bed, out of sight and out of mind.
I count it a daily miracle that I am walking with God even at such a painfully slow pace. The time I spent in the darkness was not wasted time. It helped me to appreciate His grace and His presence. There is nothing more terrifying than getting a close look at the little monster you are and not having someone there to love you.
Bored and somewhat lovesick
Because of certain recent events, I have been called upon to give advice to male friends about initiating relationships. I have no idea why I find myself in this place as I would prefer that my male friends ask other males regarding matters like this. I would just like to observe the hesitancy, nay fear, of stepping out that I consistently encounter in these conversations. I am no expert in love and claim no wisdom on the matter but I do believe that men were made to initiate and made to risk rejection from my kind.
I was reading through some articles on Boundless and would like to share something that made me shout with agreement. Addressed to Christian men who have someone in mind, someone they’ve been praying for and someone they would like to pursue, I hope you don’t mind my posting this excerpt from Croft’s article “Biblical Dating: Are you ready to date?”
Full article here: http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001443.cfm
La lang ata ako mapost kaya eto na ginagawa ko…hehehe… violent reactions are most welcome. Dear friend, fidgit not, I understand and sympathize. God give you the grace to walk in joy in this time of your life.
I was reading through some articles on Boundless and would like to share something that made me shout with agreement. Addressed to Christian men who have someone in mind, someone they’ve been praying for and someone they would like to pursue, I hope you don’t mind my posting this excerpt from Croft’s article “Biblical Dating: Are you ready to date?”
In his Boundless article, "Real Men Risk Rejection," Michael Lawrence eloquently summarizes both the objections some men might raise to this idea, and, in my view, the ideal response:
"'Wait a minute. Are you saying that all the risk is mine?' Yes I am. 'Doesn't that mean that she can just tell me no and leave me twisting in the wind?' Yes is does. Welcome to leadership. Welcome to trusting God. Welcome to being a man. Your cards belong on the table. Your intentions and your feelings, to the extent that you can discern them and it is appropriate for
you to share them, should be clear. Part of your role even at this early stage is to protect the woman of your interest from unnecessary risk and vulnerability by providing a safe context in which she can respond."
Full article here: http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001443.cfm
La lang ata ako mapost kaya eto na ginagawa ko…hehehe… violent reactions are most welcome. Dear friend, fidgit not, I understand and sympathize. God give you the grace to walk in joy in this time of your life.
Remembrance
The dirth lasted no longer than two days. Alas, many questions go unanswered still and assumptions threaten the sunny skies and the sanity of my mind. This is such pleasant torture. Blame the GRE for my bloated vocabulary.
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