The BCO can't stop me

It looks like the absence of an active internet connection in the dorm is failing to prevent me from posting. Just a few thoughts…

Can my enjoyment and glorifying God be one thing and not two separate endeavors? It feels like I'm at crossroads and I can't take both roads.

I’m angry and I feel like God’s trying to tell me “Whoa kiddo! Calm down… love your enemies…” I’d really love it if He were thundering through the earth, furious at the injustice done, powerful and awesome and making every creature tremble. I don’t know, I just feel like it would help if He were angry too instead of all loving and merciful. He knows I’d murder those guys if I ever got the chance. Half-meant.

Do you think that it’s selfish for me to want to go to graduate school abroad? See July 4 post.

I love my mentor. Yeah, I have my “Oh, just leave me now” and “I don’t want to talk to you” days but she’s made of rather strong stuff. She shoots questions right at me and I have to call for another glass of water to gulp down the initial onslaught of embarrassment. But she knows so much that at the end of the day it’s just a relief that someone out there knows most of my dirt and can still say “I love you” sincerely. This always makes me think of Jesus which is always a good thing.

Does anyone want to go jogging/walking around the oval on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? 6-7:30PM

Has anyone heard Rihanna’s song “Unfaithful”? Crappy lyrics but the tune is stuck in my head. I mean, if you “love” another guy, break up with your current boyfriend and spare me the theatrics of feeling bad because you’re killing him with your unfaithfulness.

You know you have really cool friends when you ask them for yearbook testimonials and they say you’re a good friend, an intellectual and a Christian instead of saying how bad you are at relationships, how you make no sense at all and how truly depraved you are. Their views are very different from mine I guess. Thanks to Nellie, Joy, Rina, Gee, Apple, Jojee, and Janna.

With the exemption of getting really unlucky in my Stat 138 class (where the professor will grill you and only you for the entire class), life is monotonous. All I get to do is go to class, go back to the dorm and study (or sleep) and sit here in front of a computer and whine. Well, at least now I know why I go so crazy when I get the chance to let loose. There’s a lot of wild under this quiet exterior.

You know, it’d be nice to have someone there for you for a really long time. I feel like there’s an entire parade of people walking in and out of my life. It’s getting really old but it’s not getting any easier. Last night, Gillian (roommate) told me that a person who will always be there for you just doesn’t exist. Great. I guess I have to get used to the perpetual, inevitable flow then. Oh Lord, I miss them all.